My Decision
by CJSpooks
Summary: My view on Eames's pregnancy. New Chapter Uploaded! A side chapter with Goren reflecting on his partnership and bond with Eames.
1. Surrogate

Author's Notes: Hey, since The Powers That Be are writing Kathryn Erbe's pregnancy into the show, I came up with an idea on how to do it (besides the shipper possibility). And, don't worry…I will always be a shipper at heart. 

Summary: A way to write Kathryn Erbe's pregnancy into the show (besides the shipper possibility). 

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My Decision

By CJSpooks

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Eames sat on her couch in her apartment. Leaving work for a personal nature was pretty hard to deal with. (Mostly because only a few people outside her family knew why.)

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It was entirely my decision…It was entirely my decision…

Eames shook her head and tried to concentrate on the video she was watching. It was the art of Lamaze on tape…perfect for expectant mothers. Eames frowned. _This is so not my type of thing to be doing. Did I really make the right choice? _

Suddenly, a knock sounded on the door. Eames fell off the couch at the sound. _Damn…who's coming to bother me now? It better not be my mother. I so don't have the patience right now._

Eames silently swore to the damn hormones that were causing so much angst and went over to answer it. She was surprised to see her partner standing there. She frowned. "Goren."

Goren looked at her in concern. "What? Are you all right?"

Eames sighed and gestured him in. "What's the point of this visit? Don't say a case because I'm on leave from work."

Goren frowned. "No, actually…I was wondering about that myself. Deakins wouldn't tell me why you were taking off. He said to just ask you. I just decided seeing you in person would be a better idea than calling you."

Eames sat down on the couch and Goren followed. His eyes wandered over to the television screen and he gasped. "You're pregnant?" 

Eames nodded. "Yeah…I'm…"

Goren was in total shock. _Eames has a boyfriend! Well, she is very attractive and intelligent but why hadn't she told me? Is she hiding who the father is? _

Eames cleared her throat. "Bobby, it's not what you think."

Goren's facial expression changed from shocked to confused. "I don't understand."

Eames looked him in the eye. "Bobby, I'm a surrogate mother."

Goren returned her gaze. "This isn't your baby?" Eames nodded. "Then whose baby is it?"

Eames replied, "Um…you see, I'm carrying this baby for my older brother, Brian and his wife, Kate. Kate has recently been diagnosed with cancer and can't carry the baby due to her upcoming chemotherapy treatments. Brian and Kate have been married awhile and they really want a baby so they asked me if I would consider carrying the baby for them. It took me months to decide if it were the right thing. As you now know…I told them yes."

Goren took a moment to process all of the information passed to him and then replied, "Eames, you're amazing. This must make your whole family extremely proud."

She smiled. "Yeah. I'm sure they all are. What's your opinion on all of this?"

Goren also smiled. "I'm okay with it. And I'm glad you told me. Or else I would've been wracking my brain through your extended absence. I'll really miss you, Alex."

"I'll miss you too, Bobby. It'll only be for a few months. I'll be back, I promise."

"I'll visit you when I can. If you need me, just call, okay?"

"Of course I'll call you, Bobby. I'll need someone to bother during the hormone induced mood swings and to take care of me when I feel all bloated and depressed."

Goren stood up and started to go to the door. Eames stopped him. "Goren?"

Goren turned around. "Yeah?"

Eames kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks. Be careful on your cases. I don't want to hear that something happened to you when I was away."

Goren gave Eames a hug. "I'll be okay. Bye, Alex."

Eames closed the door after him. "Bye, Bobby." 

To be continued…(with more glimpses into the pregnancy)

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	2. Odd Cravings

Author's notes: Hey, I'm back from a long…"could not have been helped" hiatus. That's because my computer crapped out on me so it took me awhile to get a new one. Also, I do admit to being just a little lazy because I didn't know how to continue with this at first. I think after my little rest from fan fiction writing that I'm now going to produce some really good work. I do like this chapter, hopefully you all will enjoy it too. It's really cute. 

Chapter Two: Odd Cravings

Around Six Months In

Eames sighed as she lay relaxing in bed. There was just too much to do but she couldn't accomplish anything. Not with her big whale belly and not being able to see her feet. Also, her lack of clean black shirts to make her seem slimmer. _Ugh…I have become a lazy pile of poo…How could I let myself do this? I went from stunning ass kicking detective to bloated surrogate mom. I feel fat, damn it all._

Eames tried to get up. _I have the oddest craving for broccoli…covered in chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and warm melted cheese. Wow…that was weird. I better get some help on that one. _Eames smirked as she dialed a number on her cell phone. 

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Goren sat at his desk and yawned. He actually yawned, which was a first in a long time. He was never this bored in his life. He always had something to occupy his mind. Usually a book…or Eames to make him laugh. She was on maternity leave finally staying at home. Goren turned his chair around to face his temporary partner, Detective Bishop. He was surprised to find that she had snuck away to get some lunch without asking him to go along. He frowned at Bishop's coldness towards him. Their temporary partnership seemed strained and horrible one minute and then great the next. _This was one of the slow moments…_

He straightened up at the ring of his phone. Goren swiveled around to answer it. "Goren."

A familiar voice graced the other end. "I need you."

"What happened?"

"Nothing bad…I just feel fat like a whale and all around crappy. Oh yeah, I can't sit up in bed. How are you today?"

Goren chuckled at this thought. "All right. I'm going on my lunch break. I'll pick up something and be on my way. What do you want?"

On the other end, Goren could not see Eames smirk evilly. "Anything?"

"Sure, I'll get it."

"You promise?"

"Yes. What is it so I can get over there as fast as I can."

Eames giggled to herself as she told him the odd thing she was craving badly. Goren went silent at the other end. Eames frowned. "Bobby, are you there?"

Goren answered. "Yeah…that took my by surprise. It's sort of…sickening. But you wanted it…I'll see what I can do."

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Forty five minutes later, Goren arrived at Eames's bedroom door holding the bag of groceries his partner requested. She smiled happily. "I love you. Can you get me up now?"

Goren put the bag down on a chair and helped Eames sit up. "Bobby, you're the greatest." Goren sat on the edge of the bed next to her and smiled. "Thanks."

Eames looked at the clock on her table. "Wait, don't you have to be back at work in ten minutes?"

Goren shook his head. "I told Deakins I was going to help a friend. He knew I meant you. So, he let me take the rest of the day off."

"How's your partner?"

"You're my partner. My _only_ partner."

"I mean the read head they stuck you with, Bishop."

"She's okay…she doesn't seem to like my investigative style."

"It _does_ take some time to get used to."

"You're really going to come back after the baby's born, right?"

"Of course…you miss me at work or something?"

"Yeah…Bishop isn't the type to be humorous and make light of the situation like you."

"Thanks. And Bobby?"

Goren looked Eames in the eye. "Yeah?"

"Can I have my food now?"  


Goren laughed and went for the bag. 

End of Chapter 2!

(To be continued with another cute scene in chapter 3)

Please Review, it'll mean the world to me.


	3. Light in the Darkness

Author's Notes: I know that I've been away from fan fiction writing for quite some time…I'm sorry for that. I wasn't sure and maybe I'm still not very sure were I'm going with any of my unfinished works (since I have so damn many…ugh, I am bursting with ideas). Whatever…I'm babbling for no reason. Here's something to satisfy the appetite for Law & Order: CI stories. 

[Note: I wrote this…two weeks ago but I didn't have the time to type it up.]

My Decision 

By CJSpooks 

[An aside/companion piece,] "The Light in the Darkness"

Summary: Set right after the episode, "F.P.S.". After the case had hit close to his reality, Goren reflects on his partnership to the absent Eames, who is still on pregnancy leave. 

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Goren unlocked the door to his apartment. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew that he needed to call Eames. She had taken the courtesy to text him about the baby probably right after she had given birth or at least when the drugs had first worn off. Goren nodded to himself and sat down on his couch. He reached into his pocket to extract his cell phone. He was about to punch Eames's speed dial number into the phone when he suddenly decided against it. He knew it was cowardly to be afraid of Eames, since they had been through so much together in their almost three year partnership together at the Major Case Squad. He opened up his zippered binder and pulled out a piece of paper instead. He thought that planning out what he was going to say on paper would be better on his nerves than just conjuring up the words on the spot. 

Around Eames, he had always felt safer and more confident…but on the phone, he felt different. He wanted and could tell her everything about his recent cases but it definitely wasn't the same than seeing her in person and having her reactions in visual. Before he knew it, Goren started writing a full blown letter to his partner. 

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Eames, 

This last case that I had just solved with Bishop certainly struck a chord inside me. I could easily comprehend and analyze the pathology of this criminal, mostly because it mirrored my own in a way. The suspect's name was Neill. He said, "You bastard, I was only looking out for us.". This was completely aimed with great anguish at his partner, for whom he had killed someone for to try and save their bond. I somewhat understood the feeling. Neill had looked me up on the internet and played me just as horribly as Hitchens or anyone else has in my life. They seem to be all the same. They played that certain card that always disarmed me fully…my father, the deadbeat. After realizing the play, I was angry at you for not being there to console me. Bishop, of course, did not know what I was referring to at first. She thought I was just spitting out gibberish and random names from the past. 

I felt very helpless and lost. But that feeling, and you have helped me solve the case. I know you must be shaking your head that you, being away for so long had helped me actually solve a case but let me tell you, it is the truth. If it weren't for you and the feelings I was experiencing, I wouldn't have ever figured it out and probably would have let Neill play me until I snapped. 

Don't get me wrong at all, I know it was a hard decision to temporarily leave work to be a surrogate mother…but I kind of resented you for your own kindness and sacrifice. I felt that you had abandoned me. I missed you every since day you were gone. It tore me up inside to go on cases without you there. I loved bouncing ideas off of you and hearing your suggestions. I only trusted you in this world, I really did. Everyone else never seemed to understand me in the way you do. They always saw me as an intimidating, mysterious force. Because of this, I always held your opinion higher than anyone's…even higher than my own. As you can gather, I did not warm up to Bishop much, she coldly worked side by side with me in your absence. 

I felt that void left by your electric personality. I didn't feel like I could do the job without you. You had always been the light in my darkness. You kept me sane, on the right side of the line. You prevented my self-destruction many times. I owe you for that. You never tried to discourage me, you always complemented me in every way. It was the perfect partnership. I never could express it because I was shy and afraid to. Solving crimes and analyzing a variety of pathologies is my sanctuary…you are a major part of it. 

You deserve the whole world and I almost certainly can't give it to you. They say saving world is a lonely job meant only for the strongest of will, heart, and soul. You are all of these and you bring out the best in me always. I just don't want to do this alone…I can never imagine to, either. 

Goren

After Goren had signed the letter at the bottom, he got up and picked up his phone again. Shaking his head, he crumpled up the letter but thought better of throwing it out. He smoothed it out and reached his hand into his pocket once again, taking out a lighter that he had bought a while back on a previous case. He held the letter out in front of him and proceeded to burn it. Goren smiled as it disappeared into ashes. The fire had given him some much needed confidence, as it seemed to wash his worries away. He then grabbed his coat and went back into the rain to see Eames in person, which he decided to be much better than to call her or write a letter. 

The End

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